So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
