The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
