I can text with my tongue
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
