What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
