She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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