Got a toothbrush?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
