you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
