My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
