Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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