It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
