We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
