I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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