wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
