at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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