i just google imaged poop.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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