I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My legs feel like baby dolphins
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
