Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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