when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
