Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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