R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
