dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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