I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
