i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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