I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
