we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize