He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
