alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
