well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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