Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
