So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Randomize
