She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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