i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Welp...herpes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
