Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
