Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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