Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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