We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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