...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize