And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
