I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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