So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
