i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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