I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
