i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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