Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
