i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
