please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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