I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
