Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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