I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
