maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
