my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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