glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
