I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
