Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
