Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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