I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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