There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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