Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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