honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
