You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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