i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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