Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
