it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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