I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
